Wedding vows are one of the most important aspects of a wedding ceremony. They are promises made between two people who have decided to spend their lives together, and they serve as a foundation for their marriage. Traditionally, couples recite conventional wedding vows during the ceremony based on their faith. However, more and more couples are now choosing to write their own vows. Explore the top reasons to write personalized wedding vows.
Reason 1: It’s Heartfelt
Your vows allow you and your partner to profess your love for one another. While traditional vows speak to this sentiment, reciting personal promises feels more romantic because they come from the heart. This is your time to tell your partner how much they mean to you and about your excitement for your new journey together.
Remember that what you say doesn’t have to be sappy or cheesy to sound romantic. True romance is a message from the heart and can be anything from “I love who I am when we’re together” to “You are my best friend and soulmate.”
Reason 2: It’s Your Love Story
Only you and your partner truly understand your shared love story. Sometimes, standard vows don’t hold the same meaning as personal vows. Countless weddings include the recitation of traditional vows, which, for some, takes away that special meaning behind the words. Your vows should feel unique and reflect the way you think and your partner.
Moreover, traditional vows may not do your relationship justice if you come from different cultural or religious backgrounds. When you write your vows, there are no rules regarding your words.
Reason 3: It’s Memorable
Another reason to write personalized wedding vows is because they are more memorable. When you put thought and effort into your vows, they will stand out in your mind for years to come. The personal touch you add can make them more impactful and meaningful than traditional vows.
Your wedding marks the first chapter of your life as a married couple. If you want every moment to be as memorable as possible, writing your own vows is a way of ensuring that. You’ll also treasure the moment your partner recites their vows to you.
All the friends and relatives watching your ceremony will remember the sweet words you exchanged with your partner.
Reason 4: It’s an Easy Wedding Keepsake
When your partner writes something special just for you, you’ll want to keep that message forever. Fortunately, there are many ways to turn your wedding vows into a keepsake. For example, you could print your vows and put them in a photobook alongside your wedding pictures.
Alternatively, some couples have their vows printed on canvas from online artists or photo printing companies like Shutterfly. This provides you with a beautiful piece of art you can hang in your home, allowing you to reflect on the sweet words your partner professed to you.
Reason 5: It Sets a Tone for Your Marriage
Personalized vows can set the tone for your marriage and remind you of what you promised each other on your wedding day. They can also guide your relationship in times of difficulty, reminding you of your love and commitment to one another. If you love laughing together, make your vows more upbeat and romantic. If you’re long-time love birds, you could reminisce on your years of memories together.
Reason 6: Everyone Will Love It
Your guests will also love hearing unique vows that come from the heart. These words add a personal touch to your ceremony and make it more meaningful for everyone involved. Your guests will feel like they are witnessing something extraordinary and intimate between you and your partner.
4 Tips for Writing Vows
Reciting traditional vows doesn’t require the same prep work as creating your own since the officiant will simply tell you what to say. When you write your own vows, you have to set aside time to brainstorm what you’ll say and then create a draft or two.
As with many aspects of wedding planning, going about all this can feel daunting. But by letting your heart guide you, the ceremony becomes more sentimental. Consider these factors as you craft your wedding vows.
Establish Rules With Your Partner
You and your partner need to establish boundaries before either of you start writing. Decide whether any jokes or memories are off the table. Likewise, discuss how long you want your vows to be so both of you write a similar length. The last thing you want to do is surprise each other by having one person recite a short paragraph while the other reads an essay.
Write From the Heart
It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of writing something special to your partner, especially when you say it in front of friends and family. What’s important to remember is that what you say doesn’t have to sound perfect. Your partner loves you for who you are, so they’ll adore whatever it is you have to say.
As you start crafting your vows, ask yourself what you love most about your partner. What’s your favorite memory with them? Is there a song that always makes you think of them? Write down all your thoughts as they come to mind, then review what you wrote to create an outline for your rough draft.
Everyday Bride Tip
If you have difficulty writing those first words on the page, try speaking aloud and recording it. Imagine that you’re gushing about your partner to your best friend. As you replay the recording, note the things you want to add to your vows.
Create Several Drafts
As much as you may love your first draft, you shouldn’t immediately store it away until the wedding. Instead, write an initial draft of your vows and put it away for a few days. When you pull them back out, review what you wrote and decide if there’s anything you want to cut or add.
Generally, each partner’s vows should last one to two minutes. If yours seems lengthy, you may need to cut a few areas. Removing certain memories or promises from your message may seem tricky because all of it feels important, so consider writing a separate letter to privately give your partner the morning of the wedding before you get ready.
Rehearse Your Vows
Many have heard that “practice makes perfect,” and your vows are not the time to overlook rehearsal. In fact, consistent practice is one of the best ways to shake stage fright when reciting personal vows. Once you make that final draft, recite what you plan to say several times to keep it fresh in your mind for the big day. As a bonus, rehearsal increases memorization, so you will be able to look your partner in the eyes as you promise your devotion to them.
Practice With a Friend
Reading your vows alone is great, but nothing tops a listening ear. Ask a parent or wedding party member to listen to you reading the vows. They can advise you on what sounds good and provide constructive feedback.
A Final Note
There are so many reasons for couples to write personalized vows. Ultimately, it’s about you and your partner connecting through the deep level of love you share, and you should feel comfortable expressing what makes your relationship unique. Whatever you say will be perfect as long as it comes from the heart.