Wedding days are full of traditions and “must-dos” dictated by the people, society, and culture around us. Most of us love a romantic, formal wedding day that pulls out all the stops. But in this day and age, it’s time to take back what’s yours to make your wedding day feel unique to you and your partner. It should always be a celebration of you two alone, so with that said, here are five ideas to get you started!
Throw Out the Rule Book
That’s right! I said it. That little wedding planning book you bought that says you must do steps one, two, and three? Throw it in the bin. Put it in the shredder. Toss it in the fire. Whatever you do, don’t look at it! You need to sit down as a couple and ask yourselves what you want to do.
Do you want people there at your ceremony? No? Totally fine—just host a reception! Do you want to wear a white dress or a black suit? No? Wear a bright lime green dress or beachy formal pants and a top! Are flowers not your thing? That’s cool! I’ve seen people use props instead or make “flowers” from old book pages, feathers, or fabric! This day is yours, so ask yourselves what is going to make you happy.
Consider the Style of Wedding
Not many people ask themselves what style of wedding would truly make them happy, and I think this is a big one to consider. If you are a person with anxiety, it may be best to simply have a small, intimate day that gives you plenty of time to step away and just breathe. Or, on the opposite end, if you are a flamboyant person, then bring on the bold colors, performances, and a stage to sit on with an elaborate backdrop! For the adventurous couples out there, maybe an elopement on the top of Half Dome is more your style. Weddings are for you and your partner to exchange forever vows and celebrate the start of your union, so make sure your day complements who you are as a couple.
Incorporate Your History
Your relationship history, whether you have been together for six months or six years before your engagement, is important to who you are as a couple. It’s what formed and molded you! And even your personal or cultural history is important because that’s what makes you who you are! Little nods to that throughout the day will help to make your wedding feel more personal.
I’ve had couples who traveled the globe together and used their photos and past travel locations for the table numbers. Some couples were super into wine, so they made it their wedding theme! I had one couple where one partner was Argentinian, so they incorporated La Hora Loca, which is like an hour of PURE crazy partying. (Think Carnival and Mardi Gras mixed into one hour during the reception.) Whatever you think made a significant impact on your life, feel free to incorporate it!
Incorporate Your Interests
It’s also important to incorporate your interests into your wedding. Even if you decide a formal wedding day is your style, you can include elements that are of interest to you. Some choose to put gorgeous white roses everywhere and have super elegant seating charts—except those seating charts were acrylic surfboards covered in flowers! I’ve seen soccer ball seating charts. I’ve seen seating charts made with old records. (Seriously, seating charts are one of the best spots to incorporate something unique!)
You can also have fun in the party favor department. Some couples are super into cooking, so they make spice rubs as their party favors. Others are cocktail enthusiasts who make limoncello. The list goes on! And honestly, you can take this to the very theme of the wedding itself. Huge fan of the medieval times? Go on and throw that medieval wedding day where guests have to come dressed in renaissance costumes. Your wedding will be the most memorable one yet!
Make Sure To Have Fun
Look, I’m not going to lie. Wedding planning is going to be trying at times, but overall, you should be having fun. If at any point you find that you are not enjoying yourself, it may be time to pivot or remove that block completely. Are invites giving you a headache? Pivot! Send out digital invites instead. Or is figuring out a wedding party causing drama? Remove it entirely so it’s only you and your partner up at the altar. In the end, all these little details will add up and create an atmosphere that leaves you completely happy on your wedding day so you can focus on the celebration and your partner. So good luck, and remember that this wedding is about you! Throw out the rule book, incorporate your history and interests, and have fun!