These days, attending counseling sessions has become more common for both individuals and partners. By working with a professional, you can learn healthy ways of viewing marriage and gain the tools needed to create a healthy, life-long relationship with your favorite person. Discover five important things to know about premarital counseling.
You Will Create Achievable Expectations
When you’re engaged, it may feel like you’re in the honeymoon stage of the relationship—your partner can do no wrong, and together you’ll take on the world. While this is a beautiful way of thinking, it can also fuel unrealistic expectations for marriage. In truth, every day may not be perfect, but there’s beauty in imperfection.
Life is unpredictable, and you and your partner will go through different hardships together. As you experience major life events and become older, you will change. Expecting your partner to always be who they are physically, mentally, and emotionally can set your marriage on a challenging course. You and your partner should accept one another for who you are as you evolve, so long as the relationship remains healthy. A counselor will teach both of you to embrace change and to love one another through all the twists and turns of life.
You Will Learn Healthy Communication
Communication isn’t always easy, but it is vital for a healthy relationship. The challenge is that tone and non-verbal communication can impact how you convey a message—for better or worse.
During premarital counseling, you can lessen the chances of miscommunicating with your partner because you’ll learn methods of properly conveying what you have to say. A counselor will also help enhance your communication skills and work on any pitfalls to improve conflict resolution.
If you struggle with vulnerability, your premarital counselor can talk you through things so you don’t bottle up your emotions around your partner. On the other hand, if you have a sharp tongue, you’ll learn when to step away from conversations so you don’t say something hurtful to your partner.
You’ll Create Boundaries
One of the most important things to know about premarital counseling is that you’ll learn how to establish healthy rules with your partner. We all have boundaries for different aspects of our lives, and knowing how to communicate and respect these rules prevents disagreements. A premarital counselor can help you determine your physical, mental, and emotional boundaries and create rules around them.
For example, if one of you needs some alone time each day, you and your partner can create a plan for this in counseling. With help from an expert, you’ll ensure one partner’s solo time doesn’t leave the other individual feeling neglected.
You’ll Improve Compatibility
The beautiful thing about love is how it brings people from every walk of life closer together. You and your partner may come from different socioeconomic backgrounds, religions, or other types of social grouping. These differences can impact an individual’s way of thinking. Therefore, some great questions to address in premarital counseling include:
- What are each of your religious beliefs?
- What do you consider financial stability?
- How important is family?
- How do you describe infidelity?
Bringing up sensitive topics isn’t easy, but a counselor creates a safe space where you and your partner can speak openly.
Establish Healthy Money Rules
If you and your partner disagree on areas such as finance, have your counselor help you come up with a solution. There are various money rules all couples should follow when living together, such as deciding whether they’ll have separate or joint accounts. By working on this before you tie the knot, you’ll have a stronger foundation for the marriage.
You Will Learn Constructive Conflict
The word “conflict” often has negative connotations since many associate it with arguing. However, constructive conflict allows both of you to address why you disagree on certain things. Disagreeing is natural, and discussing those differences can provide you with a new way of seeing a situation.
Constructive conflict requires wonderful communication skills and the utmost respect for one another. Through constructive conflict, you can learn why your partner feels a certain way and resolve the issue together, even if that means agreeing to disagree.
A Final Note
Going to counseling before you get married can feel stressful, partly because of the stigma around it. However, working with a couple’s counselor is never a bad idea because it supplies you with necessary tools to build a stronger relationship. You can learn different ways of communicating with your partner, how to respect each other’s boundaries, and ways of defusing disagreements.
Marriage is about building a life together, and premarital counseling gives you the support to do so. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s easier to brave a storm when your favorite person is beside you.
